8. Hospizwoche der Landesarbeitsgemeinschaft Hospiz Berlin

Berlin, Germany           Thursday, October 27, 2005

HOSPIZ WEEK SEMINARS             at Lazarus Hospiz, Bernauer Strasse, Mitte

 

 

 

Hospice and Palliative Care

Council of Vermont Home

 

Virginia Fry

 

Part of Me Died Too

 

German Translation

 

1st Speaker—Dr. Gronemeyer, Professor at Universitat Gneissen

            “Hospice & Palliative Care in Europe

            “…The hospice question is at the Secret Center of the culture. 

How will the European Culture deal with the weakest of humanity?”

Audience questions highlighted the needs for educated physicians,

understanding of pain control versus assisted suicide, the heated debate

on assisted suicide, the need for volunteers, nursing home improvement,

and the competition between hospice and palliative medicine.

 

2nd Speaker—Virginia Fry, MA, Director, Hospice & Palliative Care Council of VT,

with Johannes Frank, Berlin Teacher & University Faculty at University of NH

 

Introduced by Herr Director Jurgen Schulz, Bjorn Schulz Foundation and

            Sonnenhof, children’s hospice.

 

“We are grateful to have Virginia Fry here with us tonight—they have

just flown in from the United States.  I have seen her connect with our

staff and children and families with caring and creativity.  But that is not

astonishing considering her 25 years of experience in hospice, and we

can learn a lot from her.  Welcome!”

 

 

 

“Thank you, Herr Schulz, for inviting me to Germany to speak about

“Hospiz in the USA.  Ich spreche nua ein bishun deutch, es tut mir leit!

(I speak only a little German, I am sorry!)  But my new husband and Berlin teacher,

Hannes Frank will translate.  He knows this hospice work and we will explain this

 together, beginning with the BIG overview, progressing to stories of our patients

and families--and we will do this with pictures!

 

Two years ago I never expected to come to Germany.  I never WANTED

to come to Germany.  But I have been here seven times in eighteen months now! 

There are many things I admire about Germany’s confrontations with the past

(Photo of the Berlin Wall with a graffiti artist below and an armed soldier

above) and the creation of the future (Photo—Potsdamer Platz).  When

Hannes and I began searching for “hospiz” in Berlin, we were welcomed by

Herr Director Benno Bolze of RICAM Hospiz (Photos), who is here tonight.   

We compared statistics and stories of caring for the dying and their families. 

Herr Bolze then sent us to Herr Director Jurgen Schulz to visit his wonderful

kinder hospiz, Sonnenhof (SunshineYard) in Pankow (Photos).  How many

of you have been to Sonnenhof? (about 8 of 100 people).  Go!  It is wonderful! 

I also got to teach many times with Hannes in his Lenau Schule in Kreuzberg,

here in Berlin(Photos of young children doing clay).  Here we used creative

grieving techniques with children from 14 different cultures, mostly Islamic,

and this was a very good bridge across the cultures.

 

“Now!  To America!  Ahhh… I have heard here tonight, about McDonalds

and Walmart—and yes, I am sorry for that.  But we have also had hospices for

more than 25 years!  Here is a map (Diagram) of the USA and here is Vermont,

where I live.  In Vermont there are about 600,000 people, in a mostly rural area

with 13 home health hospice organizations caring for about 1200 hospice patients

and their families, per year, with an additional 1300 palliative care patients. Vermont

has one inpatient hospice with 14 beds.

 

Here are the National Hospice & Palliative Care Organization’s statistics

on hospice in America (2 pages projected. See www.nhpco.org for more info). 

I will mention a few points—Of the 3,300 hospice organizations,  67% are

not-for-profit, most are home-based care, with some inpatient facilities.  Hospices

ARE in the nursing homes in America, helping to improve care of the dying.  50%

of hospice patients have cancer, and here are the other diagnoses.  When I began

25 years ago, all hospice patients were dying of cancer. 

 

40% of patients die in hospice within 7 days of admission.  These are the people

that just want to go home to die--and hospice helps them to get out of the hospital

to do that.  Here is a graph (Chart) showing the growth of hospices over more than

25 years.  They are growing at a rate of about 100 programs a year, which is expected

to increase as the population of those over 65 years will double in America in the next

20 years.

 

“There!  Enough of statistics!  You know we each come to hospice because

of our stories.  Here is a bit of mine.  This is my 21 year-old brother, David (Drawing)

who died in an accident when I was 27.  I had worked in a children’s hospital for 5 years,

and gone to nursing school.  But I had surgery on both of my feet at the same time.  And,

as you know, you can’t be a nurse without two good feet!  So I went back to art, like

everyone in my family.  But when David died—everything changed.  In 1979 no one

would talk about death.  There were only 2 books in the library on death.  There were

no support groups.  So I used my art to help me process David’s death (Painting.) 

And this helped me so much—that I went to Massachusetts General Hospital and

asked them to make me their “Artist-in-Residence.”  But they were not ready for this. 

So they sent me to the first hospice in Boston.  They said, “This Hospice Movement

 is a new frontier. There is room for an artist to work with the dying in hospice.”

 

“In 1980 there were 26 Medicare Hospice Demonstration Projects in the USA. 

We had money to care for the dying at home and to try to prove three things:

1) That dying patients could be identified and cared for at home with good pain and

symptom control,

2) That families could be supported adequately, and

3) Above all—that dying at home with hospice care was cheaper than dying in the hospital.

  We collected statistics for three years and proved all of this to be true, and Hospice

Medicare became a benefit for every American citizen over 65 years of age. It is

important to note that the USA only has universal healthcare for citizens over

65, and you have to be dying to be guaranteed GOOD CARE in America. 

Now, many states pay for hospice Medicaid for the poor and the young, but some do

not.  Most private insurance companies have a hospice benefit of some kind, because

 it is cheaper than hospital care. (Later, questions from the audience clarified per

 diem reimbursement rates, separate physician billing, financial shortfalls and

necessary fundraising).

 

In 1980, when I approached my first hospice, I persuaded the staff that dying

is boring!  Human beings are creative until death!  Even a person in a coma creates

carbon dioxide out of oxygen and changes the feeling of the space around him or her. 

Dying people have a right to be creative and learn and grow and give back life, until

death!  I began as a volunteer artist and in 6 months I was hired as staff and I have

been doing this creative hospice work ever since.  Ten years later I got a graduate

degree in counseling.

 

“We did not know how to care for the dying, so we learned from our patients. 

This is Evee (Drawing), the mother of one of our doctors.  She had more tubes than

anyone I have ever seen.  But she was calm and serene and said, “All these people keep

calling, and wanting to see me—like I am dying.  And maybe I am!  But I would rather

be drawing!”

 

We met many people like Mr. McKinney (Drawing #1 Before Hospice), who were

alcoholic, abusive, angry and miserable.  But with the kindness of strangers—and it

MUST be strangers who do the care sometimes, when there has been so much hurt

in the family—we could get him home.  And we witnessed this “Hospice Miracle”

(Drawing #2 At Home), of love and growth and healing in the family.

 

When I was trained in hospice, there was no mention of children.  We assumed

we would only take care of the elderly.  But soon we saw children caring for grandparents,

 and parents and siblings—and even as patients themselves—and we had to learn how

to help.  Lori taught me (Drawing—Daddy in Hospital Bed) as she drew herself

bringing tea to her father who had metastasized melanoma.  But we didn’t see that

she had no hands!  We didn’t see how helpless she felt!  But we found ways for her

to help her daddy and she drew this picture on the day he was dying (Drawing—

Daddy with Hearts).  We didn’t know how to tell Lori that he was dying.  No one

wanted to tell her—not her mother or the doctor or the nurses or the social worker. 

But she came to my office that day and drew this picture.  I was so moved by the love

and happiness with which she filled the drawing--and I told her so.  But then I asked

her, “WHY is he so SMALL?”  Lori stood up angrily, put her hands on her hips and

shouted, “Because he’s DYING, STUPID!”  And she knew!  We learned that the

children always know when dying is happening—they just don’t know what it means.

 And we had to learn how to explain death to children. (Later, in questions with

the audience, we explored these explanations in detail).

 

In 1995, I wrote this book with the children’s stories, so they could teach

us and we could respond with creative strategies to help them to cope with dying and

death and grieving (Photo of the book Part Of Me Died Too).  We have also learned

from dying children, like Ruth Ann Burbach (Photo in Belly Dancing veil), who need

life to be full of joy and sometimes, even belly dancing!  (Virginia puts on headdress

and audience laughs). She confronted her own dying with courage and angels

(Drawing of an Angel) and anguish. 

We found our patients had frightening dreams and important dreams (Drawing of

Mary’s Dream of the Horses).  And we had to find ways to help them understand

the meaning of these dreams and to find peace.

 We had to help doctors to understand the dying.  I edited and illustrated this

“Patient Care Magazine” (Photo) which went to 160,000 primary care physicians. 

Many articles and this Buddhist story explained that we need warning that dying

is coming—in order to live well and end our lives with peace.  We need to find the

strawberry—the JOY (Drawing of Hand Holding Strawberrry)—available in every

day for our patients, our families and ourselves.

Thank you for the important work you do in hospice!

 

(Enthusiastic applause.  After this 30 minute presentation, 45 minutes of

questions followed.  Here is a brief summary…)

 

Is this hospice care being taught in medical and nursing schools?

Yes, in most colleges.  But it is still rather new and these schools only recently

added palliative care to their curriculums.  I often have the opportunity to teach

 in these places.  The medical students always want to know “How do we give

BAD NEWS?”  And that is a whole other subject!  And there are protocols to help.

 

How do you explain death to children?

Very concretely.  Death is STOPPING.  You stop breathing, stop eating, stop

moving stop sleeping…These are the important points.  You can teach children

that the dead body is an empty container and that what we loved of our dear person

has separated from the body and is safe.  We can do this with a Hand Game, so

children will not fear what we do to dead bodies.  (Extensive explanation and

demonstration followed)

 

Is burial or cremation harder on children?

It depends on how the subject is handled.  Children need concrete ways to

participate in both.  They need to go to funerals and see that it is safe and peaceful

and perhaps touch the coffin and the dirt where it is buried.  My children were 4, 6,

and 8 years old when they took their grandfather’s ashes up the ski mountain where

he used to go and put his ashes into the snow so he could “SKI FREE!”  This is a

law you could change in Germany, so you have the right to do what you wish, within

reason of course, with your loved ones ashes.  They belong to you, not the funeral

business.  You paid for this service—it is your free choice! (Applause)

 

How do you begin with patients--to teach them to draw?

I don’t begin with drawing unless they already want to do this. That is too

intimidating for most people.  I begin with this clay (demonstration and passing

of the clay to the audience) and we make WORMS!  See, it is easy to do…

then we twist the different colored worms together and roll them into a small ball. 

Then we can press the thumb into the ball and rub it smooth to make a “Worry

Stone.”  This clay can be baked in one’s own oven and then kept in your pocket

or “Memory Box,” to hang onto during the dying, and to remember the loved one

after death.  And the children love to make fat worms like this…then a truck runs

over them and they get “squished dead!” like this…and then they roll up into a

spiral and open up into a ROSE!  And death is transformed!

 

How do we involve the community with hospice?

By making Hospice BIGGER than dying!  We go to schools and teach in

the health classes about grieving many things we lose in life as well as helping

the dying and bereaved.  We go to workplaces and help employees when there

has been a death.  Hospices respond to sudden deaths in the community, so there

is support and follow up through hospice bereavement programs.  Many hospice

workers have experienced sudden death, as I did, and they were driven to find

better ways to help survivors.  And this makes hospice relevant to the larger

community.

 

How do you get the Hospice message out into the public?

We make friends with our local newspapers and media and find patients and

families who are willing to tell their stories to the public.  One of our patients

wanted to go to Hawaii, which was not possible.  So our hospice gave her a big

luau, a BIG DYING PARTY, and the paper told the story of a young dying

woman being full of LIFE, with the help of hospice!  The art and creative care

help to convey the idea to the community that hospice is not just about the sadness

and suffering of the dying and their families, but about living well in the face of

death and being supported in bereavement.

 

How do you get financial support for hospice from the community?

Donations of time and money are necessary for hospices to work well.  These

media stories help to publicize fundraising events, like foot races and golf

tournaments, and to recruit volunteers for hospice.  In every town in our state,

people can vote for the town to support this form of public nursing through

money for home health and hospice.

 

What do you do with YOUR drawings?  Do you make an exhibit?

No!  I just use them for teaching, like today.  The children’s have been published

in this book, Part Of Me Died Too.  But I have not done this with my own drawings.

 

What is your typical Monday like?

Oh!  That’s my long day!  From7:30-8:30am I listen to voice mail messages(often 40),

return phone calls and plan the day and week for clinical visits and teaching in schools,

hospitals, etc.  From 8:30-10:00 I go to the office of the Vermont state organization of

hospices and answer emails and plan the next meetings and conferences.  From

10:00-3:00pm I make patient/family visits, then I attend a large Hospice Team

meeting of nurses, aides, therapists and discuss the business of care giving until 5:00pm. 

Then I go home and feed my children.  At 6:30 I return to the Hospice Office and

run the Bereavement Support Group with my colleague, usually attended by 8-12

grieving adults.  And at 9:30 pm I go home for a beer and sleep!

 

POSTSCRIPT from Virginia Fry—

“I would like to add-- that I hear and understand your challenges in

finding volunteers.  But young people, like old people, often have a deep

 interest in death and dying.  Young people are looking for connection

and meaning in their lives.  Helping Hospice can create a lifetime of

commitment to community and service through the personal growth that

being with the dying brings to a young person.  Hospice can save their

lives!  It saved mine.

 

 Thank you and Good Luck.”

 

 

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